Monday, April 11, 2011

Spring, what a miserable time of year.

I just realized today, that I would be having to do yard work again, soon. Not too soon, but soon. the grass is growing, the woodline is encroaching to my yard, bugs, squirrels, heat, and the horrible sun.
The sun. hmm. A massive spherical chain reaction of nuclear explosions, emitting radiation on everything facing it. Not only that but this time of year he likes to wake you up earlier. "Get up, get up, there's a lawn to be mowed. You have to mow it because I helped it to grow. HA! Look at what I can make you do."

I think the only thing the sun is good for is making the female side of the human race shed clothing, I enjoy a good clothing to skin ratio. I mention ratio because I don't enjoy seeing a 250 lb. whale in a bikini. So, the more skin you have means the more clothes you wear, see?

This brings me to another topic sun worshipers. These are the people that have time just to lay around in the sun for hours. These are mostly women and they intend to look good, which is fine on the short term but will reverse on the long term. I had a conversation with one of these women once, it went something like this (edited for clarity, she was young):
Me: Why do you lay out so much.
Her: Because it looks good being tan.
Me: But it won't look good in the future, it will make you look haggard and wrinkled.
Her: No it won't, and if it does then make up will fix that.
Me: Not if you do it so much.
Her: Then I'll get plastic surgery.
Me: If you can afford it, and if you do it so much you will get skin cancer.
Her: You'll get cancer, too, you smoke.
Me: Yeah, but you won't be able to see my cancer. Everyone will see yours.

I didn't make any impact but I do feel better that I at least gave a warning. I should have explained about the Islamic Woman Dilemma*.

If you work outside I am not against you being out in the sun, that is noble. You are doing something while being beat down by the evil sun, not just being lazy and "catching some rays". I commend your farmer tan, your hat line, your salt stained shoes. I have been there, too, but I will not just lay there to bake my skin.

* if you want to know about the Islamic Woman Dilemma, let me know in a comment and I will write it up.


  1. I share a hatred for sun worshipers also my friend.

  2. I can't wait for it to get warmer. I don't want it to go past 80 though.

  3. that pic had me disgusted briefly...

  4. Awwww, spring is such a great time of year for sooo many reasons. In the world of any sports fan it may be the best time of year.

  5. Awesome blog style man! Also great post! Definitely supporting!

  6. I looove spring! :D

    btw, great blog, following :]

  7. that picture was a bit disturbing

  8. I'm with you - I hate mowing grass! If I was rich and could afford it, I'd have it replaced with astro turf. :)
    following and supporting